Reading Amy Tan’s “Two Kinds” for the first time is confusing. The message is not quite clear until one studies the context of the story. The story deals with immigrants….
The Story of my Life
As a 15-year-old, in my life, there has been a lot of setbacks, challenge and some failure in my personal and in my academic life, though I am not proud to admit. When I was a little girl I was the happiest person you would ever mean, well for the most part. No matter what people did to me, I would instantly forgive and move on regardless of what they did to me or the pain they cost me.
Now it may seem like I would go from being happy and content to bleak and dull, because of the most important people in my life, who was supposed to be there for me when others are trying to tear me down, but the person tearing me down is my own mom and dad.All I did and do was try and be good enough for them, but no matter what I did, it’s like I will never be good enough for them. Sure they loved me, or that’s what I wanted to think, but when it comes to showing it, it was like they don’t care.
Emotional and physical abuse was a daily routine in my everyday life. My father had no patience and always assumed he was right about everything, and my mom always assumed the worst in me and followed my father with his accusation, so as a child my voice was taken. I begin to keep everything to myself and became a shadow of my former self. No one noticed because of the smile on my face I would force every time I leave my home, the place I would fear to return, without noticing.At first, school failed to be my safe haven.
People saw me as the new quiet and fragile girl, so they took advantage of me by verbally and emotionally abuse me. If someone wanted something from me, I would willingly give it to them, fearing they would say or do something to me. I was always trying to please everyone and trying to change something about myself that people did not like. I remember on the mouth after school starting all my teachers would ask everyone to describe their partner, my partners would say that I was nice to work with, but behind my teacher back spiteful words were being thrown at me like dodgeball except I was not dodging it.
Sure I had friends, but none that was very close because my parents would not let me go to my friend’s house or let them come over to mine and of course they couldn’t stop the hateful words that were being thrown at me all they did was pity me. I never like being pity by someone, so I never told anyone about what happened at my home, I would avoid the subject but couldn’t keep avoiding it the subject, so I would tell my friends, my fantasy of the family I wanted as if it was the reality.
I never understand why people and my parents were mean to me. It took me years to realize that it was impossible to please everyone, so I just didn’t even try to please them. When I realize this, it’s like the world was lifted off my shoulder. I did not care about anyone’s opinion of me because I was too distracted by my new founded happiness and was too busy living my life. I stopped have the urge and need to have everyone like me. I start standing up for myself, saying no to people and speaking what’s on my mind, but at sometime’s I would keep quiet when necessary.
The naive part of me was out of my mind, things were improving in my life and was more than better.The man who was supposed to protect me and love me would leave early in the morning and come in the afternoon. If he asks for something and I didn’t do it at the same time, he would yell at me and threaten to hit me saying he ‘would slap me’ or ‘knock some of my teeth out’, sometime if he would accuse me of doing things I did not do or acts like he know everything and if I dare to say otherwise he would yell and sometime he would slap me, and my mom would stand there and do nothing, sometimes she would try and stop him.
He was the only person I truly fear but will not show it, he would be the only person that can bring me to my lowest point. Despite what happened at my home, at my middle school I would be in one of the highest classes in my school and always passing my classes with the high score. All of the hardship I have been through in my life made me a stronger person. I pray and hope God gives me the strength to keep going forward despite all the obstacles in my life. I am my own person and I will never change myself to please anyone ever again. My future is in my hands and I also believe in myself, to make anything possible for myself.