In Walt Whitman’s poem Leaves of Grass, first published in 1855, the poet explores themes of the idea of the self, the recognition of self in relation to other people….
During elementary school, I had challenges that proved to be overwhelm me. I was an average student, but lacked the self-confidence and the persuasion needed to utilize my abilities.
My self-esteem issue served to ruin me. Although I had personal ambitions, I had negative thoughts and feelings about myself. Many times I had a stance that I could not do anything better because I was not good enough. The cynical feelings had taken a salient toll on me, and served as inner torture.
Developing self-esteem proved highly taxing on me. It adversely controlled my studies because I felt that I can never truly be better than par. Moreover, I had a persistent nagging fear that dissuade me from advancing my life.
Since I let my inferiority define me, I manifested hatred for people who had the courage to face challenges and over take them. I was unsure why I felt this way but I knew that I had to make changes before I let my fear define me as a person.
It was disheartening seeing people who were dejected all the time as I was. It made me sad to see them without respect for themselves and just in a state of misery that they seem to be satisfied about being in. Those with low self esteem hurt themselves which could lead to unintentionally hurting others. My mom used to tell me “misery loves company”; I took this to mean that your misery brings others down.
I had a change of heart about my confidence and my self perspective about the time I started high school.
I told myself that I would no longer be a victim of my own strange closed off ways and decided to try to be more animated and spontaneous around my classmates. I diverged from being quiet and disconcerted to a person I could finally appreciate. After becoming a less introverted person I was able to conquer my trepidation of being my own worst enemy.
After overcoming my problems I learned that I could achieve more as long as I tried my best to do so. I could be the best at anything I set my mind to. I could be a better teammate, friend, classmate, and son as long as I emitted a sense of self worth and not fear. I believe that in having high self esteem I can live happily in my own way, be a better person and be the guy everyone wants to be friends with.
This did not come easy for me so a conscious effort be consistently made on a daily basis. I had a lack of self-respect that, in most cases, resulted in depression and self-destructive behaviors. I needed to reinforce my important qualities and actively tried to fix my negative ones. When everything else in the world failed me, I would always have self-respect to fall back on. I thought that if I didn’t respect myself then I wouldn’t take care of myself the way I should.
My parents taught me that me and only me is responsible for my destiny, and that life is no fun if you spend it hating yourself.
No one, including yourself, has any idea of your capabilities or of what you might ultimately do or become.
Perhaps the hardest thing to do in life is to accept how extraordinary you really can be, believe in yourself, and then to incorporate this awareness into your attitude and personality. How you feel about yourself is a key issue in achieving anything in life. A self-confident person has high self-esteem, self-respect, and belief in her- or himself. By developing your self-confidence, you will be able to achieve your goals, take opportunities that come your way and also have the strength to overcome any obstacles.
Be true to yourself by taking action when you want something. Follow through on it even if you think you might fail. Be gentle with yourself and don’t put yourself down if you make a mistake – you are only human and we all make mistakes sometimes.
The good thing is that you learn from them so that you know what not to do until you achieve your goal. If you keep trying, you will eventually succeed.
If you are afraid of something, do it anyway. Often fear disappears when we face the things we are scared of, as we experience it how it is rather than how we have imagined. You will find the reality is that talking to that person was actually quite fun or attending that interview wasn’t as uncomfortable as you thought.
When you go to bed at night think of any achievements you had during the day – no matter how small – and give yourself credit for them. This will make you feel good as you sleep, and when you wake in the morning, you can visualise yourself being happy and confident for the day.
So you set yourself up for success!
Socialise with self-confident people and spend time in good environments. The people around you affect your confidence levels, so seek the company of people who are positive and are honest with you. Try to avoid negative people, as they can pull you down and deplete your energy. Choose your environments carefully and don’t compromise for others.
You may have a problem with shyness and if so this may make you avoid certain situations or social events. Being sociable is so important in so many areas of life and if you avoid social situations you find difficult the result is as we just described above.
Being shy does not have to be permanent.
It is something you can certainly change. I used to be very shy but I worked on it and now enjoy my life like I never could when I was suffering. Shyness will almost certainly affect your self confidence in a bad way so you need to do something about it.
I was not content with the way I treated others or myself, and felt that I had fulfilled none of my desires. It took years before I had slightest amount of confidence. Only until I was in high school did I attempt to transform my perspective and reinvent myself. I don’t believe that I will ever overcome my issue, but hopefully in time it can become just part of my past.