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Mating Advice and Sincere Friendship Drives the Relationship between Heterosexual Women and Gay Men

Mating Advice and Sincere Friendship Drives the Relationship between Heterosexual Women and Gay Men. The relationship between heterosexual women and gay men has become an area of interest for research as well as popular media. From popular media, there is recognition of the fact that there is a high level of closeness between heterosexual women and gay men, where such a relationship is characteristically absent in the interaction between heterosexual women and straight men (Schenker, 2013). Heterosexual women have a high level of trust and evident comfort when interacting with gay men. Much of this is predicated upon the fact that gay men do not have ulterior motives in their friendship since they have no sexual interests in heterosexual women. As Russell et al (2018) notes, heterosexual attractive women seek out gay male friends for purposes of providing unbiased mating advice while also reducing the risk of exploitation and deception. The plausibility of the argument by the authors rests on the notion that any friendship formed between women and gay men is driven by personality aspects rather than the need for sexual involvement. Such has led to the conceptualization of this relationship as similar to kinship ties based on sincerity, value for each other, social support, and openness.

            The essay that follows seeks to analyze the factors that drive the relationship between heterosexual women and gay male friends. In this essay, the suggestion given is that this relationship is built upon the essence of true friendship without expectation of anything in return such as sexual favors. Further, heterosexual women seek mating advice from their gay friends and this is because the advice lacks bias that may emanate from any sexual interest or competition for mates. As such, heterosexual women seek out gay male friends due to the need for unbiased mating advice as well as sincere friendship built on trust, value, openness, and social support.  

Mating Advice and Sincere Friendship Drives the Relationship between Heterosexual Women and Gay Men

 

Unbiased mating advice

            One of the motivators behind the relationship between heterosexual women and gay men is that there is provision of unbiased mating advice coming from the gay men. In a research conducted by Russell et al (2013), outcomes indicate that heterosexual women perceive the mating advice coming from gay men to be more trustworthy as compared to similar advice coming from straight men. The claims are plausible and much of this comes from the fact that physically attractive women often face unsolicited sexual advances from straight men. On the other hand, straight men perceive physically attractive women to be highly sexually exploitable (Goetz et al., 2012; Krems et al., 2016). Such implies that women are likely to view their friendship and or relationship with straight men as having more costs as compared to the relationship with gay men. With the ulterior sexual motives coming from straight men, this leads women to highly value the mating advice coming from their gay male friends despite the likelihood that the gay men may lack any mating expertise. The valuation of the mating advice comes not from its plausibility or value but from the likelihood that advice coming from other sources (straight men) may be biased due to sexual motives. As Fisher and Cox (2010) identify, the possibility for potential mating leads to self-promotion as well as mate manipulation thus making any mating advice biased. In line with this, women will seek out gay male friends over straight men to provide unbiased mating advice.

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